ВУЗ:
Составители:
Рубрика:
55
"You're a dummy!"
"Oh, John!"
"Didn't you say you had six months to raise the money in?"
"If I had six centuries what good would it do? How could it help
a poor guy without name, capital or friends?"
"Idiot! Coward! Baby! Six months to raise the money in – and
five will do!"
"Are you insane?"
"Six months is a lot of time. Leave it to me. I'll raise it."
"What do you mean, John? How on earth can you raise such a
monstrous sum for me?"
"Will you let that be my business? Will you leave the thing in my
hands? Will you swear to submit to whatever I do? Will you promise
me to find no fault with my actions?"
"I am dizzy – bewildered – but I swear."
John took up a hammer and deliberately smashed the nose of
America! He made another pass, and two of her fingers fell to the floor
– another, and part of an ear came away – another, and a row of toes
was broken – another, and the left leg, from the knee down, lay a frag-
mentary ruin!
John put on his hat and left the room.
George gazed speechless upon the grotesque nightmare before
him for thirty seconds, and then fell onto the floor and went into con-
vulsions.
John returned presently with a carriage, got the broken-hearted
artist and the broken-legged statue aboard, and drove off, whistling
merrily.
Chapter IV
(Scene – The Studio)
"The six months will be up at two o'clock today! I would wish I
were dead. I had no supper yesterday. I have had no breakfast today.
My bootmaker duns me to death – my tailor duns me – my landlord
haunts me. I am miserable – I haven't seen John since that awful day.
BUT who is knocking at that door? Who is going to kill me? That
bootmaker or the tailor? Come in!"
56
"Ah, happiness attend your highness! I have brought my lord's
new boots – ah, say nothing about the pay, there is no hurry. Shall be
proud if my noble lord will continue to honor me with his custom – ah,
adieu!"
"Brought the boots himself? Don't want his pay! Is the world
coming to an end? Of all the – come inl"
"Pardon, signor, but I have brought your new suit of clothes for –"
"Come in!!"
"A thousand pardons for this intrusion, your worship! But I have
prepared the beautiful suite of rooms below for you – this room is so
ugly.
"Come in!!!"
"I have called to say your credit at our bank, sometime since un-
fortunately interrupted, is entirely and most satisfactorily restored, and
we shall be most happy –
"Come in!!!!"
"My noble boy, she is yours! She'll be here in a moment! Take
her – marry her – be happy! God bless you both!”
"COME IN!!!!!"
"Oh, George, my own darling, we are saved!"
"Oh, Mary, my own darling, we are saved – but I'll swear I don't
know why nor how!"
Chapter V
(Scene – A Roman Cafe)
One of a group of American gentlemen reads and translates from
the weekly edition of Slangwhanger di Roma as follows:
"WONDERFUL DISCOVERY! – Some six months ago Signor
John Smitthe, an American gentleman, bought a small piece of ground
in the Campagna. Mr. Smitthe afterwards went to the Minister of Pub-
lic Records and had the piece of ground transferred to a poor Ameri-
can artist named George Arnold, explaining that he did it as payment,
and satisfaction for damage accidentally done by him upon property
belonging to Signor Arnold, and further observed that he would make
additional satisfaction by improving the ground for Signor A., at.his
own cost. Four weeks ago, while making some necessary excavations,
"You're a dummy!" "Ah, happiness attend your highness! I have brought my lord's
"Oh, John!" new boots – ah, say nothing about the pay, there is no hurry. Shall be
"Didn't you say you had six months to raise the money in?" proud if my noble lord will continue to honor me with his custom – ah,
"If I had six centuries what good would it do? How could it help adieu!"
a poor guy without name, capital or friends?" "Brought the boots himself? Don't want his pay! Is the world
"Idiot! Coward! Baby! Six months to raise the money in – and coming to an end? Of all the – come inl"
five will do!" "Pardon, signor, but I have brought your new suit of clothes for –"
"Are you insane?" "Come in!!"
"Six months is a lot of time. Leave it to me. I'll raise it." "A thousand pardons for this intrusion, your worship! But I have
"What do you mean, John? How on earth can you raise such a prepared the beautiful suite of rooms below for you – this room is so
monstrous sum for me?" ugly.
"Will you let that be my business? Will you leave the thing in my "Come in!!!"
hands? Will you swear to submit to whatever I do? Will you promise "I have called to say your credit at our bank, sometime since un-
me to find no fault with my actions?" fortunately interrupted, is entirely and most satisfactorily restored, and
"I am dizzy – bewildered – but I swear." we shall be most happy –
John took up a hammer and deliberately smashed the nose of "Come in!!!!"
America! He made another pass, and two of her fingers fell to the floor "My noble boy, she is yours! She'll be here in a moment! Take
– another, and part of an ear came away – another, and a row of toes her – marry her – be happy! God bless you both!”
was broken – another, and the left leg, from the knee down, lay a frag- "COME IN!!!!!"
mentary ruin! "Oh, George, my own darling, we are saved!"
John put on his hat and left the room. "Oh, Mary, my own darling, we are saved – but I'll swear I don't
George gazed speechless upon the grotesque nightmare before know why nor how!"
him for thirty seconds, and then fell onto the floor and went into con-
vulsions. Chapter V
John returned presently with a carriage, got the broken-hearted (Scene – A Roman Cafe)
artist and the broken-legged statue aboard, and drove off, whistling
merrily. One of a group of American gentlemen reads and translates from
the weekly edition of Slangwhanger di Roma as follows:
Chapter IV "WONDERFUL DISCOVERY! – Some six months ago Signor
(Scene – The Studio) John Smitthe, an American gentleman, bought a small piece of ground
in the Campagna. Mr. Smitthe afterwards went to the Minister of Pub-
"The six months will be up at two o'clock today! I would wish I lic Records and had the piece of ground transferred to a poor Ameri-
were dead. I had no supper yesterday. I have had no breakfast today. can artist named George Arnold, explaining that he did it as payment,
My bootmaker duns me to death – my tailor duns me – my landlord and satisfaction for damage accidentally done by him upon property
haunts me. I am miserable – I haven't seen John since that awful day. belonging to Signor Arnold, and further observed that he would make
BUT who is knocking at that door? Who is going to kill me? That additional satisfaction by improving the ground for Signor A., at.his
bootmaker or the tailor? Come in!" own cost. Four weeks ago, while making some necessary excavations,
55 56
