Upward Bound: First year. Воробьева М.Г - 41 стр.

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— 41 —
more practice out of me than out of seventeen hundred ordinary
patients with only one or two common diseases each.»
«Well, what’s the matter with you? Got any complaints?» he asked.
I did not pretend to be calm. My whole life depended on what
he would say.
«I will not take up your time, dear fellow, by telling you
what is the matter with me,» I began. «Life is short and you may die
before I’m through. But I’ll tell you right away what is not the matter
with me. I haven’t got housemaid’s knee. Why I haven’t got it I
cannot tell you. But the fact remains that I haven’t got it. Everything
else I have got. My life is in danger.»
I told him how I came to discover it all. I didn’t pretend I
wasn’t frightened. He took my temperature, felt my pulse, and then
hit me over the chest when I wasn’t expecting it. After that he sat
down and wrote out a prescription. He folded it and giving it to me
said that I had better go home.
I did not open the prescription. I went to the nearest pharmacy
to have it made up. The chemist read the prescription and handed it
back. He apologized for being unable to help me. He said he didn’t
keep it and smiled. I was very much annoyed. I did not see the joke.
I said, «You are a chemist, aren’t you?» He did not deny it. «I
am a chemist,» he said. «If I were a department store and family hotel
combined, I might be able to help you. But the matter is I am only
a chemist. That’s why I can’t oblige you.»
I read the prescription. It said:
«1 lb
beefsteak, with
1 pt
beer every six hours,
1 ten-mile walk every morning,
1 bed at 11 sharp every night.
And avoid stuffing up your head with things you don’t
understand.»
I felt relieved. My life was out of danger. I didn’t tear up the
prescription or throw it away. I followed the directions with the
happy result that my life was saved and is still going on. My health
improved, but I never mention the incident to anyone.
From Jerome K. Jerome. Three Men in a Boat, adapted.
Ex. 2. Ask 12 questions about the text.
Ex. 3. Retell the text.

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