Speaking clearly. Improving voice and articulation: Фонетический практикум. Фомиченко Л.Г. - 67 стр.

                                                                         67
      A man went begging and decided that this time in order to
attract more attention and sympathy he would play at being dumb. So
he went out into a street and before long he ran into a man who knew
him by sight, had met him before…... and had met him…... er... …of course
when he was still speaking. So the man went up to him. «Hello», he
said. Beggar didn’t reply. «Sorry, I remember you.» Not a word. «How
long have you been dumb?» asked the man. «Ever since I was a child»,
replied the beggar.

                         Mark Twain in France
      Mark Twain, the famous American writer, was travelling in
France. Once he was going by train to Dijon. That afternoon he was
very tired and wanted to sleep. He therefore asked the conductor to
wake him up when they came to Dijon. But first he explained that he
was a very heavy sleeper. «I’ll probably protest loudly when you try to
wake me up», he said to the conductor. «But do not take any notice,
just put me off the train anyway».
      Then Mark Twain went to sleep. Later, when he woke up, it was
night-time and the train was in Paris already. He realized at once that
the conductor had forgotten to wake him up at Dijon. He was very
angry. He ran up to the conductor and began to shout at him. «I have
never been so angry in all my life», Mark Twain said.
      The conductor looked at him calmly. «You are not half so angry
as the American whom I put off the train at Dijon», he said.
       (The same story again read in more natural English)
       The famous American writer Mark Twain was travelling in France.
On one occasion he was going to Dijon by train. He felt very... er...
tired and... er... decided to go to sleep in the afternoon. So he asked the
conductor to wake him up when they got to Dijon. But he had to
point out first that he was a very heavy sleeper and that he’ll probably
make an awful fuss, when the conductor came to wake him. «Don’t
take any notice», he said to the conductor. «Just put me off the train
despite the fuss». So Mark Twain went to sleep.
       Eventually he woke up when it was night-time. The train was in
Paris. He realized at once what had happened. The conductor had fol…
forgotten to wake him up at Dijon. He was furious. He rushed up to
the conductor and started shouting at him. «I’ve never been so out-
raged in all my life», Mark Twain said. The conductor looked at him