Speaking clearly. Improving voice and articulation: Фонетический практикум. Фомиченко Л.Г. - 69 стр.

                                                                    69
                       The Smoking Chimney
      One afternoon Professor Phili ps was walking along a country
road when he saw a farmer eating his supper alone in the road before
his house. The professor approached the farmer and asked him,
«Why are you eating here alone?» — «Well, sir», answered the farmer
after a short pause, «the chimney smokes.» — «That is too bad», said
the professor. «You must have it repaired. Let’s have a look at it.»
      And before the farmer could say a word the professor tried to
enter the farmer’s house. As soon as he opened the door a broom fell
on his shoulders and a woman’s voice cried «Go away, you old rascal,
or I’ll kill you...».
      The professor left the house quickly. The farmer sat in the road
looking very unhappy. The professor approached him and put his
hand on his shoulder. «Never mind», said he, «my chimney smokes
sometimes too...».

                      The King and the Critic
      A king liked to write stories which he thought were very good.
The people to whom he showed them were afraid to criticize them.
They said that his stories were good.
      One day he showed some of them to a well-known critic who
said that his stories were bad. The king got angry with him and sent
him to prison.
      After some time the king pardoned the critic and when he
returned invited him to his palace to dinner. Again he showed him
some of his stories and again asked him what he thought of them.
      The critic turned to the guards who were standing behind him
and said, «Take me back to prison.»

                            The Bell-boy
      A traveler was standing at the desk in the lobby of a Washington
hotel. He was in a hurry. He had only ten minutes to pay his bill and
reach the station. Suddenly he remembered that he had forgotten
something.
      He called the bell-boy and said, «Run up to Room 48 and see
whether I left a box on the table. Be quick, I am in a hurry.»
      The boy ran up the stairs. Five minutes passed, and the gentle-
man was walking up and down impatiently.