Сопоставительная лингвистика. Кашкин В.Б. - 76 стр.

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2006: The Year Russia Schooled The West
Russia's Report Card For The 2006 Academic Year
By eXile Staff
This past year was a watershed both for Russia and for Russia's detractors alike.
As they used to say after 9/11, «everything's changed». Although not exactly
how the West imagined it.
For the first time since Mikhail Gorbachev launched his doomed Perestroika re-
forms, Russia returned to its rightful place as the White World's Bogeyman, an-
noying the living shit out of every self-righteous, sexually-frustrated Western
missionary with its mixture of menace and mo'. Playing up its new role as some-
thing like a cross between Bugs Bunny, the Tasmanian Devil, and P Diddy, Rus-
sia is now officially «confident», the biggest sin a country could possibly com-
mit if said country attained its confidence while mooning the West.
In this end-of-the-year issue of The eXile, we look back at 2006: The Year Rus-
sia Schooled The West. And looking back at each major event as if it was a uni-
versity course, we issue Russia its bestest, and most-annoyingest, report card
ever.
Below is Russia's report card in each subject in which it competed with The
West. We at the eXile hope that by reprinting this report card in an open and
transparent manner, that the lessons learned will assist all of us in the New
Year.
SUBJECT: Fingerpainting 121
Course Description: Remember all those so-called «Color Revolutions» which
were sweeping the former East Bloc and Soviet countries, turning them from
supposedly backwards, Russia-dominated failed states into happy, pro-Western
«orange» or «yellow» or «rose»-colored nations? Welp, 2006 was the year that
Russia decided to «Paint It Black». That's right, in 2006, Russia's Near Abroad
overthrew all those bright, ditzy pro-Western colors to return to its natural, seri-
ous, Russia-friendly gray. Here is a sample of the color mixing chart:
*Ukrainian Orange. In the 2006 elections, «yesterday's» candidate Viktor
Yanukovich ate the pro-Western faction for lunch, winning the largest bloc in
the Rada, and eventually taking over the government, revealing every neo-
liberal's pock-marked hero Viktor Yuschenko for the spineless, corrupt fool that
he is;